If you have never been to a mediation before, the procedural details can be the most disorienting part. The film and television depictions are mostly inaccurate. The actual experience is structured, predictable, and almost always less adversarial than parties expect.
This is a practical walkthrough. It describes how a typical commercial or civil mediation runs at Legion. Family mediations and some specialized matters run slightly differently, but the basic shape is similar.
Before the mediation: intake and preparation
The mediation starts well before the day of the joint session. After both parties have agreed to mediate and selected a mediator, there is typically a one-to-two-week preparation period.
During this period, the mediator's office collects basic information: who the parties are, what the dispute is about, who will be attending, what documents the mediator should review, and what scheduling and logistics need to be arranged. The parties typically exchange position statements (short summaries of their views of the matter), either with each other or just with the mediator, depending on the agreement.
Each party usually has a brief pre-mediation call with the mediator. This is your chance to raise anything you want the mediator to know in advance: a specific concern about the other party's behavior, a constraint on what you can agree to, a request for a particular accommodation. These calls are confidential.
The day itself: arrival and opening
On the day of the mediation, you arrive at the mediator's office (or join virtually) at the agreed time. For in-person sessions, the parties are usually placed in separate rooms initially. The mediator's staff may handle introductions, paperwork (you'll typically sign a confidentiality agreement at the start), and any logistics.
The mediator opens the session with a brief introduction. This is typically a 5-to-10-minute conversation about how the day will run, what the ground rules are, what confidentiality means in this context, and what each party can expect from the mediator. There is no testimony, no oath, and no formal record being kept.
Some mediators then move directly to private caucuses with each party. Others open with a joint session in which each side briefly summarizes their position. The choice depends on the mediator and on the type of matter; both approaches are common.
The caucus: where most of the work happens
A caucus is a private meeting between the mediator and one party (with their counsel, if represented). The mediator caucuses separately with each side, usually multiple times during the day.
In your caucus, the mediator is doing several things at once. Listening to your view of the matter. Asking questions to clarify the facts and your concerns. Testing your positions to see what's firm and what's flexible. Carrying messages and offers between the parties. Helping you think about what the realistic alternatives are if no agreement is reached.
The mediator does not share with the other party anything you say in caucus unless you specifically authorize it. This is the most important rule of the day, and the mediator will remind you of it. If you say, "I'm willing to go up to $X but I don't want them to know," the mediator will not tell them. The mediator may use that information to gauge whether settlement is possible, but they will not disclose it.
Caucuses can run from 20 minutes to several hours, depending on what's being worked through. Between caucuses, the mediator goes to the other party's room and runs the parallel conversation there.
The middle of the day: the back-and-forth
For most of the day, the mediator is shuttling between rooms. You'll spend stretches of time waiting while the mediator is with the other party. Bring something to read, work to do, or just be prepared for the slower pace.
During this time, several things may happen.
The mediator carries offers and counter-offers between the parties. They will explain each side's reasoning, flag where movement is happening, and identify the points where the parties are stuck.
The mediator may ask you to consider a question or a possibility you hadn't thought about. ("If they offered $X plus Y structural change, would that work for you?") These are exploratory and confidential. They are not commitments.
The mediator may bring the parties together for a brief joint session if a specific issue requires direct discussion. These joint sessions are usually short and focused.
Lunch is usually brought in. The day continues until either an agreement is reached or the mediator and the parties decide to adjourn.
The settlement: writing it down
If the parties reach agreement, the mediator will help draft a term sheet on the spot. The term sheet captures the key terms of the settlement (the payment amount, the timing, the structural elements, the release language, the confidentiality provisions) in a binding document that the parties sign before they leave.
The term sheet is enforceable as a contract. Within the next one to two weeks, counsel will typically circulate a longer-form settlement agreement that incorporates the term sheet into more polished legal language. The longer agreement is usually a formality at this point; the binding deal is the term sheet.
If the parties do not reach agreement, the mediation ends without a settlement. The mediator will typically debrief with each party briefly, identify what progress was made, and suggest next steps. Many mediations that don't close on the day produce enough movement that subsequent settlement is reached within weeks.
What to bring and how to prepare
Practically: comfortable clothes (you'll be sitting for hours), something to do during the waits, any documents you want to reference, and a clear sense of what your priorities are.
Mentally: a willingness to listen to the other side's view, a clear understanding of your alternatives if no agreement is reached, and an open mind about what an acceptable settlement might look like. The most successful mediations are the ones where each party has thought about what they actually need, not just what they want.
Counsel-wise: if you are represented, your attorney will be present throughout. They will advise you privately during caucuses and help you evaluate offers. If you are not represented, the mediator will work with you, but you should consider having an attorney review any agreement before you sign it.